"Fishing for compliments is bad." --my son Jordon, age 11
1. Wear something new (novelty)
2. Compliment the other person (reciprocity & affirmation)
3. Put yourself down (self-deprecation)
Method 1: Wear something new (novelty)
"You look nice today." --our first words of greeting often involve clothes.
Method 2: Compliment someone (reciprocity & affimation)
The second way to receive compliments is to give them. Often this method works instantly, but it might also establish a pattern. If compliments are well received (smiles, exuberant thank yous), the compliment-giver will likely bestow some again in the future, & you are encouraged to return the compliment.
True or false: All compliments should be sincere.
Arianna: "How's my hair look?"
Is every compliment true? Would you rather receive only honest input?
I asked my husband recently to comment on a pair of new shoes, & he said, "Your feet looked stuffed into them." Now that was helpful honesty. I returned the shoes.
On the other hand, when we compliment someone's new dress or new hairstyle, sometimes we're complimenting the fact that the person took a risk and did something new as much as we're complimenting her outfit or her hair. I appreciate these kinds of compliments.
Every compliment someone gives you is a gift & becomes part of how you see yourself.
Savor the best compliments. Give authentic compliments.
Method 3: Put yourself down (self-deprecation)
"I'm not just a fatty with a suit, am I?" --Santa to Mrs. Claus in Arthur Christmas
"Of course not, dear." --Mrs. Claus
Side note: Compliments from strangers...
Some times compliments from strangers are the highest form of flattery--truly objective praise.
Strangers also use compliments to strike up conversations or to butter someone up.
Good praise from a stranger:
"I like them boots!" --man walking by while I waited for the bus
Bad praise from a stranger:
"Is your mother home, honey?" --door-to-door salesman to middle-aged woman